missy0307

Can someone please give me some advice.  I have been counting weight watchers points for awhile now.  I lost about 8 lbs and now I have stopped.  I get 27 points a day.  For about a week I was only eating about 20 of those and lost about a lb and then someone told me no you have to eat all 27 or you arent going to lose weight.  So I have been eating 27 and have gained 2 lbs.  I exercise at least 6 out of 7 days a week.  The foods I eat are all healthy.  I use my points wisely with salads, grilled lean meats, fruits, whole grain bread.  I havent eaten chocolate, sweets, ice cream nothing in a month.  I am so proud of myself for this because I am a chocolate addict. 

 Why am I not losing?  What can I do?  200 lbs is this magically line I cannot cross.  When I look at my weight histroy over the past 2 years there have been about 5 times that I have gotten to 201 and even 200 and never below.  Then I either sit there or go back up to 205.   How do I break this?  I am really at a loss here.  I am a registered nurse, I thought I knew about these things but I dont.  I am also drinking a lot of water.  Any ideas would be amazing.  The exercise I do is strength training, running, and walking. 

I ate a piece of Dove chocolate today.  And the wrapping said, “Remind yourself that it’s okay not to be perfect”.  I love that.  Made me feel better about eating that piece of chocolate!

So a really funny story.  Last night I got off work and then went to my first night of my summer class for my Masters program.  The class is 3 hours but since it was the first night he just went over the syllabis and then we left.  I got home around 6:45 pm and my husband was mowing so I did some cleaning of the house.  I am a little OCD when it comes to cleaning and will sometimes but it before anything else.  Its kind of strange but if the house feels dirty to me I feel like I am going crazy and can’t concentrate on relaxing or doing homework or anything else. 

My husband then came inside and we decided to go on a bike ride.  We ended up riding 6 miles on the country roads which was a good workout.  We got home and cooked dinner.  We had tacos and I ate 2 but its okay because I stayed within my points.  We then decided to put the dog out on his dog run.  Here comes the funny part/angry part. My dog is a Bassett hound mixed with a labrador or a Bassador as they call them. 

 So my husband has a hold of my dogs collar (dug is his name) and I am in the yard with the chain and he decides instead of walking him out to me that he is just going ot let him go and he will run to me.  Well he lets him go and he runs right past me and starts running in circles in the back yard.  This is the first time he has ever gotten lose at our house.  So at first we are laughing thinking he will stay there and continue to run in circles.  Well he takes off to the front yard toward the road and we are running after him screaming because there is a van coming and he almost got hit! 

He then decides to take off down our country road and runs straight toward a 4 lane state highway that is a quarter of a mile down the road.  So here I go, I am in jersey shorts and a white t-shirt and I am barefoot and I am running down the pavement as fast as I can.  My husband gets in the car and drives down there and eventually catches up right before he gets to the highway and opens the door and the dog jumps in.  So I turn around and run back, I dont think I have ever run that fast in my life, and my feet were killing me from pounding the pavement with no shoes! 

So then we get back to the house and i look in the back seat of my car and it is complete mud.  The dog must have gotten into a puddle on his way.  So here I am at about 9:30 at night scrubbing my back seat.  I eventually got done and it was 10:30 so I got stuff around for work the next day and got into bed and stayed up until midnight reading what I had to read for class.  So that was my day from 6:30 am until midnight.  Wow.  I feel exhausted just thinking about it.  Good news is I weighed myself this AM and lost a pound since yesterday!  Must have been all that running!  Stupid dog! 

Today I weighed myself and was 208.6.  Better than 210.  Still not as good as the 201 I made it too at one point!  I am counting my points consistently for 3 days now.  Only 3 days?  Yes but this is progress for me.  I went on a bike ride Wednesday and a 30 minute walk yesterday.  Today my husband is picking up my niece and nephew at 3pm and we are keeping them the whole weekend.  My nephew is almost 6 and my niece is 3.  This is our first time keeping them overnight let alone for a whole weekend!  We do not have kids of our own so I hope i can keep them safe and sound while also having fun and return them to their dad on Sunday uninjured haha. 

I went and bought some of what i call “kid food” for this weekend.  I tried to keep healthy stuff, fruit, yogurt, juice, gold fish.  But I did buy some lowfat ice cream and diet root beer for root beer floats and stuff to make smores if Indian decides to grace us with just one more day of sunshine.  Not likely, but i am prepared none the less.  We had already planned on getting Papa Johns pizza tonight.  I loveeeee their cheese pizza!  I figured up points and it is 6 points per slice!  Holy Cow.  I have however saved 16 points for tonight and increased my points by adding in 30 minutes of moderate exercise for a grand total of 18 points or 3 slices.  Now this is all i can eat the rest of the day.  I know it seems crazy and seems like a lot of points for just 3 slices, but to me it is worth it.  And that is why i love weight watchers.  I dont have to give up pizza.  I just have to work on my math schools, move around my priorities, and come up with a way to save enough points to eat pizza.  If I eat low point healthy foods all day long then I can have my pizza and eat it too!  Yum.

I wont have time to workout much this weekend with the kids being there.  But we have some outdoorsy and active activities planned.  I will probably lose 5 lbs just from chasing after them!  Oh to have the neverending energy and innocence of a child once again.  I started dieting and being concerned about food when I was 10.  The first 10 years were wonderful ignorant bliss and I am going to let the kids enjoy that bliss this weekend! 

 Alright, heading to lunch to eat left over Kabobs that we grilled last night.  Lots of veges and a small amount of lean steak!  mmmm I hope you are all having a great day.  My day is a little stressful but I am hiding it well in this entry.  I am working my hardest not to be negative or call myself a Fat A$$ which is how I feel.  The work will continue on. 

Latelly I have been feeling a lack of motivation to do anything.  For awhile there I was doing the c5k challenge and did it for about 3 weeks.  I felt great, I was running everyday, then my husband started complaining that I was exercising too much and not spending time with him.  When i was running everyday i felt amazing, i had energy, i felt good about myself and my body.  Since stopping I feel like crap.  I have lost all motivation.  But i cant go back to arguing with my husband everyday.  I just wish he would let me be me and do what i want to do,  this is marriage not slavery!  Unless marriage really is the last legal form of slavery. 

 I have been going on bike rides, which i enjoy, but i just dont get the same high as i did running.  Not sure what to do to get my motivation back.  I am in a funk, a depression you might say.  I started counting weight watchers points again yesterday just to get  me back on track.   I cant believe at one point i was down to 201, 1 point away from my short term goal and i got back up to 210.  I miss my me time, i miss having an identity.  I miss running!! 

You know that saying, “I fell off the wagon”, well i did and i have been stuck under a wagon wheel ever since.  I went for about 2 weeks where i was eating healthy, losing a little weight, working out every night, started a running program, and I felt good.  My depression and anxiety that I am prone to getting was gone.  I felt happy and energized for the first time since I was probably 18.  Then my husband started complaining that I was exercising too much and wasn’t spending enough time with him.  He said I was “changing” too much and he didn’t like it.  Yes I was changing.  For 2 weeks I went from being the girl who would come home, cook dinner, make cookies, sit on the couch and watch TV until bed….to the girl who would come home, go on a run or exercise, eat a quick snack, and go to bed. 

 Now because I did not want to deal with anymore arguements, I seriously thought we were close to divorce and we have only been married a year and a half, I stopped working out so much.  I made him go on a few walks with me and he went.  He says he will run with me.  Great.  But the thing is, running was my one time alone, my time to clear my head and do something good for myself, and yes I want to spend time with him, but i want running all to myself.  He stole that from me.  Now I am back to being my depressed, anxious, panicy self who spends so much time and energy trying to please everyone else that she does not have time for herself.  Yes that is me. 

I wanted running.  I wanted it so bad.  I wanted one thing for myself that made me feel good.   Then he went and made me feel guilty.  Now my options are, not exercise at all, or run with him.  Am I selfish to want this one thing for myself?  I work 11 hour days, 5 days a week, and take classes two nights a week for my Masters.  Yes, I don’t have a lot of time for him, but I have no time for myself.  Is it selfish to want this?

I knew it would happen eventually, and today it did.  I hit a brick wall.  All my days of running and walking and working out in a row without a break, here I am, feeling like I can’t move another muscle, feeling like I need to sleep alllllll day long.  I’m at work right now and all I can think about is going home and laying on the couch and watching a movie.  I have officially learned my lesson.  Do not workout for 15 or 16 days in a row without a day off.  Days off are good.  I need one.  I am taking one tonight!  Plans are to go home and grill out some chicken and veges for dinner, then sit on my deck in the wonderful 80 degree weather and read a book or take a snooze.  Only  5 1/2 more hourse.  I CANNOT WAIT!!

Suddenly feeling very tired and worn out today.  I think my weeks of running and exercising everyday is wearing on me.  I need a night to rest.  I probably won’t rest tonight.  Maybe on Friday.  Feeling sleepy…thats all I can really say.  Sleeeepppppyyyyyyy.

I started really getting into exercising.  I spend 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day seven days a week exercising.  I usually run and walk alternating and occasionally lift my 5 lb weights or do crunchers.  I have been doing this for 2 weeks and eating healthy, sticking with my weight watchers points.  Prior to these 2 weeks I was not totally inactive,  I still walked almost daily for about 30 minutes probably 4 days a week so I really did bump it up.  In the past two weeks I feel better but I have gained 5 lbs.  Now I am a nurse, i went to school for 5 years and have a bachelors degree.  I took nutrition.  And I know they say “muscle weighs more than fat”, however could this possibly be muscle.  5 lb gain in 2 weeks!  i used to play softball in high school and would run and lift weights and never did I have a 5 lb gain in 2 weeks from muscle.  What am I doing wrong?  Am I wrong in thinking this is just messed up?  Should I stick with it and hope that in another 2 weeks im not 10 lbs up?  Someone please give me some advice!

So mad at myself.  Ate chinese last night and even limited myself.  Then felt bad so came home and jogged a mile and walked a mile.  Still gained a pound.  So now I am at 202 again.  Grrrrr My goal was 199 by tommorow.  That would be 3 lbs in one day.  I guess im not going to make that.  Feeling like i screwed up.